WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FORGIVE?
This is a question that has been going round and around in my mind for quite some time now. While some say that to forgive is to forget I simply cannot agree “en toto” to this statement, for I believe that forgiveness to be total goes through a process. First, to pray for self to be able to give forgiveness and also to pray for the person who has wronged me so that he will also be blessed to acknowledge his wrongdoing. Then, by God’s grace if the wrong done has been repaired then reconciliation follows and forgiveness is experienced.
During my quiet time I asked the Lord to enlighten me on this matter. The answer I got was the example of St. Peter.
We read in Matthew 27: 69-75 that Peter denied our Lord Jesus Christ three times. First to a servant girl, second to another servant girl, and third to some bystanders. When Peter, however, remembered what Jesus said to him: “Before a cock crows you will deny Me three times”, he wept bitterly.
It is also narrated in John 21:15-17 that when Our Lord Jesus Christ appeared to the apostles after His resurrection at a seashore, He asked Peter three times “Do you love Me”. Peter then professed his love to the Lord also three times.
This example of St. Peter tells me that to forgive means to give someone the opportunity to admit the wrong he has done and ask for forgiveness. When this is done then the wrong done can be forgiven and a reconciliation can follow suit.
In the Sacrament of Reconciliation this is what actually takes place. The penitent admits the sins he has committed, feels sorry for them and asks to be forgiven. Only then can the priest give the absolution.
Another example was the ‘good’ thief who was crucified together with our Lord Jesus Christ. Luke in 24:41-43 narrates that this thief admitted the wrong he has done and then asked the Lord for pardon when he said: “Jesus, remember me when You come in Your kingdom”. And Jesus said to him: “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise.”
A prerequisite, therefore, for forgiveness is an Act of Contrition. One has to humbly acknowledge the wrong he has done and ask for pardon. Only then can forgiveness be given and reconciliation can take place.
With this enlightenment I now realize that when one wants to forgive he should pray for the one who hurt him that he be given an opportunity to admit his mistake and the grace to ask for pardon.
I also realize the wisdom of lifting up to the Lord Jesus whatever hurts one may have following His admonition in Matthew 12:28: “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest”.
by: Salvador 'Buddy' Cagurangan
January 31, 2010
